Going Soft On Me?
by Besaster
Summary: Before flying to Iowa to spend Christmas with his family, Seth drops by Dean's apartment with food, drinks, something to smoke and an unexpected gift. There, they live some more experiences that never happened and would never happen again. One-shot side fic for the 'As Long As We Know The Truth' series, this time told from FCW Seth's POV. Ambrollins Xmas fic.


SUMMARY: Before flying to Iowa to spend Christmas with his family, Seth drops by Dean's apartment with food, drinks, something to smoke and an unexpected gift. There, they live some more experiences that never happened and would never happen again.

One-shot side fic for the 'As Long As We Know The Truth' series, this time told from Seth's POV. While you don't need to read the others to enjoy it, some things may not make sense to you. Being familiar with the series will give you a better understanding of their situation and about whatever it was that they had going on.

WARNING: Alcohol and marijuana use.

.:

 _Wednesday, December 21st, 2011_

 _Tampa FL_

"Duuuuude!" Seth pounded on the thin apartment door, starting to ask himself why did he have the awesome idea of showing up unannounced. "Dean? Cass? Everything okay? I see the lights are on from the outside!"

He entered the building following a neighbor because Dean's apartment buzzer was broken, and apparently its inhabitants were also either deaf or ignoring the shit out of him.

Seth was a determined guy though, so he settled for a combination of loud knocking and yelling. "You gonna open today or ya waitin' for New Ye-?" A neighbor shouted from somewhere, complaining about the noise. Seth suddenly felt a bit self-conscious about dropping by uninvited with food, drinks and the weed he had left. After all, he couldn't get it inside the plane or worse, leave it to waste or risk his roommates smoking it themselves. Those leeches could go and buy their own if they wanted a good smoke.

He started to wonder if Dean was actually ignoring him. While there was no real, logical reason why that could happen, his coworker had been acting a bit weird lately, moodier. They hadn't seen each other or spoken after their schedule change for the holidays. He didn't really know what to expect at the moment.

For quite a few months already, they'd had something going on, but they always acted like whatever it was never happened and would never happen again. He didn't really give it a lot of thought, but sometimes he got the impression that Dean worried about it way more than he let on.

Seth didn't mind it too much, as his mind was worried enough about wrestling, his own insecurities and the frustration he had in FCW. All he cared about was reaching the main roster and become the best version of himself he could be. He needed to prove the world that he was as good as he claimed he was.

After the last FCW tv taping of the year, Seth stayed training at the performance center while Dean joined WWE's Holiday Tour to perform some dark matches. Both were starting their vacation that day, and after the following week Seth would join the tour himself and Dean would go back to training.

Seth was already regretting his stupid idea so he tried for the last time before leaving. "Deano! Fuu-"

He almost fell on his butt as the door swung open and an annoyed Dean growled at him. "D'ya know how difficult it is to try to take a shit while hearing yo-" No further sounds left his lips as they pursed, narrowed blue eyes yet wide pupils quickly going from Seth's face to the bags he held on his hand.

Seth felt his cheeks heat watching Dean take a step backward; his eyebrows furrowing further as his palms faced up, his words slightly stuttering. "Da fuck dude?"

As he returned the gaze, it took him a few seconds to realize his friend was surprised that he had shown up unannounced and carrying a few bags.

"Been doin' Christmas shopping for my family and got some dinner and booze on my way back. Thought we could hang out before flying to Iowa tomorrow afternoon." A sheepish grin probably did nothing to cover his embarrassment judging by Dean's raised eyebrow. "Brought my weed too, I'm sick of the guys stealing it when I'm not home." He explained, making a face as he followed Dean inside the small apartment. "Left the gifts in the car, it's fucking annoying shopping in Tampa this time of year, people were driving me nuts."

Dean chuckled as he picked the ashtray from the kitchen counter and re-lit the joint resting there. "Hey, chill out. I never say no to food and beer." He turned towards Seth to pick up the pack of cans from his hand, a grin stretching his lips. "You scared me for a moment there. Thought ya were goin' soft on me or something." He teased as he stored the beer in the fridge.

He shrugged it off. "Nah, Santa Rollins wasn't dropping by your place, stop flattering yourself." Both laughed as Dean feigned being exaggeratedly heartbroken.

The truth was that Seth could have just gone home himself and go on a smoking spree to finish up his weed, but preferred the idea of spending some time with the only friend he had in FCW before he left for the holidays. He wouldn't admit that out loud though, so he left the bags with food on the counter and his duffel bag on the floor, looking around the strangely silent apartment. "Is Colin gone already?"

Dean nodded, pointing towards a messy note held on the fridge door with a pizza slice magnet. "Yeah, he flied to New York yesterday to spend the holidays with his family. Saw it when I arrived from Richmond a couple hours ago." He sighed dreamily. "I got the house for myself for two weeks, that´s life!"

"Indeed man." Seth commented absently as he snatched the joint from Dean's hand, inhaling deeply once it rested between his lips. "Ya gonna bring _all_ the ladies or ya gonna stay locked at home and lie blatantly about it?"

Blue eyes twinked with mischief as Dean tilted his head back and flashed a cocky smirk. "I'll bring as many as I can, you know that I'm a magnet for them." The blonde removed his hoodie to stay on an old short sleeved teeshirt. "You see, I barely arrived and the first just dropped by, bringing food and goodies."

Seth rolled his eyes and threw him the first thing he could reach, a not too good looking orange from the counter. "Fuck you," he groaned half-heartedly when he missed. "I was nice enough to get you dinner."

"Always _me me me me me_." Seth was starting to suspect he was just too easy to get riled up. "Cut the whining and let's have dinner already. Get a couple of beers from the fridge will ya?"

He complied, barely resisting the urge to shake Dean's can a bit just to get back at him. Doing so would just prove him right. Seth could hear the rustle of the paper bag as it was opened and the contented sound coming from his friend.

"Mmm… ya got me extra fries. You're the best, dude." Apparently the fries were so good that Dean beamed like a kid on Christmas. "If you had tits and weren't so ugly I could kiss ya right now."

Seth snorted, shaking his head in disbelief as he left the finished joint on the ashtray. "Like _that_ ever stopped you before." It turned into a laugh when he stalked his friend around the room, making kissy noises to annoy him.

There was never a comeback from Dean though. Just like something suddenly switched on him, he turned his back on Seth and made his way to the sofa, setting the food on the coffee table and turning the tv on.

"Pretty sure girls don't like sulking, y'know?" Seth rushed towards the seat and placed the beers on the table, a bit unsure of how to act. It wasn't easy whenever Dean went into these moods, which he always started himself. Apparently the teasing was only okay when it came from him but could only go as far as Dean allowed.

It was something he just didn't get but didn't care enough to query on or to give too much thought to. He just got annoyed that after everything they had done, Dean would act like that upon stupid jokes.

They ate dinner in relative silence, watching some adult cartoon show on tv with the occasional burst of laughter and comments about the show. The interaction between them resumed to asking for another beer when the other got up to fetch some more. It was easy and comfortable, like it usually was when they hung out and Seth felt himself relax. Maybe it wasn't a mistake making this visit.

A question had been nagging Seth since he arrived. "Ya staying here for the holidays? Thought you were going to Philly with the guys."

His friend shrugged nonchalantly as he slouched back against the sofa cushions. "Nope. Everybody is either home or working indie shows so I rather stayed here and save the money."

"But don't you get lonely?" Seth was used to be with either friends or family for Christmas, so it was a bit shocking for him to see somebody spending them alone and seeming not bothered by it.

The silence that followed was tense, and he wondered if spending the holidays alone bothered Dean. Seth realized that even if they were close, it was quite superficial, he didn't really know much about him and was clueless as to how to approach the topic without making things weird or overstepping his limits.

Dean stretched lazily, stifling a small yawn as he did so and breaking the silence between them. "Nothing like fries and burgers to make a guy happy." He blurted happily. "You said you brought me your weed didn't ya?" He grinned when Seth nodded slowly, gathering the wraps and empty packages once they were done eating. "Then whatcha waiting for? Make yourself useful and roll one."

Seth shifted a bit on the sofa and tugged at his bun which was a bit too tight, feeling heavy and warm after eating so much. He unzipped his hoodie and rummaged through his jeans pockets to retrieve the small bag with what was left of his drugs. It felt strange to be so lightly dressed during Christmas, but that was one of the shocks of the Florida weather. It was just warm even during winter.

"Sure," he said, his eyebrows furrowing as he searched on his hoodie pockets as well. "Cigarette and paper? I've- oh, wait, just saw them." He picked the utensils from the lower shelf under the coffee table, together with a small grinder and started the process absently.

An arm around his neck and a cold beer against his face startled Seth out of his trance. "Another beer to keep our Xmas celebration going?" Dean teased, his mood apparently a lot better after the heavy dinner.

Staring at his friend's honest smile made something twist in Seth's stomach. Was it pity? A realization crossed his mind and he acted on it before he could think of what he was doing. "Actually," he cursed himself at the shy and insecure sound of his voice. "There's something else I brought you."

He couldn't help the gasp as the arm around his neck tightened and Dean burst into laughter. "Really?" he sounded delighted. "Oh my god I knew it. You baked me some Xmas cookies? I knew it, ya going soft on me." He joked before placing a loud wet smooch on Seth's cheek.

Seth puffed in irritation and was finally let go, knowing it was too late to back his words off now. "Fuck you, I don't even know why I bother." He sulked, but couldn't keep his annoyance for long as a hand ruffled his hair. His head tilted back slowly against the sofa and he looked up at Dean before letting his eyes squint a bit as he felt the fingers raking through his scalp gently. "Stop that or the weed's gonna end up on the sofa." He snorted when he felt another quick tousle on his messy hair, his eyes opening again to meet a dorky grin.

"What did you get me?"

Seth blushed and looked away, again self-conscious and not sure if he'd made a mistake. "It's in my bag. Y'know I'm kinda regretting it now."

Dean walked away, joking about how he was irresistible as he sauntered towards the duffel bag on the floor. Seth finished rolling the joint while peeking to see his reaction. Dean pulled the zip open and looked inside, picking a paper bag with a nicely wrapped rectangular box. "Really Seth?" While his face stayed amused, his voice shook slightly, there was an uncomfortable touch to it.

Seth bit his lip, now regretting opening his mouth at all. The truth was that it was a gift, but he didn't buy it for Dean; he bought it for his brother and had it wrapped at the liquor store. Luckily he had forgotten to ask them to write anything on the small ' _Merry Christmas_ ' tag attached to it so it had no name. Since he couldn't back down now, he would just have to buy his brother another at the airport and remind himself to keep his mouth shut the next time.

" _Really_ Seth?!" Dean appeared to be torn between being shocked and delighted as he opened the box and revealed a limited edition bottle of Jack Daniels. Hadn't he been so embarrassed, Seth would have laughed at the sight and the slight flush on his coworker's dimpled cheeks. He hid it by lighting up the joint.

Dean looked from the bottle to Seth, and back to the whiskey, apparently not believing his eyes. He clumsily stood up and took two clean glasses from a shelf, still peeking suspiciously at both Seth and the Jack Daniels bottle before he went back to the sofa and fumbled on his attempt to open it.

Seth felt a pang of guilt as he watched Dean fidget, his hands were shaking slightly and his brows furrowed. He sighed and reached out, placing a hand on top of his. "Here, let's swap." His words came out mumbled as he placed the cylinder between Dean's lips, taking the bottle from his shaky hands. He opened the bottle easily and smiled at his friend. "Merry Christmas Dean." He said softly as he placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, squeezing lightly.

He watched Dean take a big puff at the joint, his expression relaxing a bit until a small chuckle hit him while exhaling the smoke. "Merry fucking Xmas." He teased sounding a bit forced and, before Seth had a chance to see it coming, leaned forwards and crashed their lips together into a kiss. When he drew back, he slung an arm around Seth's shoulders and pulled him close for a moment. "You're still ugly and have no tits, but thanks dude."

Seth snorted and burst out laughing, ignoring Dean's low and breathy tone. "Ya sure it's not you who's going soft on me? See, that's never stopped you before."

"Aw, shut up," Dean whined, letting go of him and passing the joint. "Let's enjoy my Christmas gift. Gimme the bottle." Seth complied, edging a bit closer while Dean poured some whiskey on the glasses.

He bit his lip, trying to keep himself from vomiting the questions assaulting his mind and trying to think of anything to say that wouldn't tense the air again. "Toast for Xmas?" It was the best he could come up with.

Dean flashed a sly grin, handing him a glass and raising his own. "Merry fuckin' Xmas?" he chuckled as they toasted.

"Merry fuckin' Xmas." Seth mimicked before gulping down his shot. "More." He demanded and laughed at the mock exasperated look he got in return. He took another drag at the joint and, without giving it any thought, this time it was him who leaned forward and kissed Dean, feeling a smile tug at the corners of his mouth as his friend's lips parted to inhale the smoke.

As he attempted to pull back, rough fingers held his chin in place. "More of what?" Dean rasped so low he could barely hear his voice, just feel it as his breath brushed against his skin.

Seth moved quickly, tilting his face down and biting on the first bit of flesh he could reach. He snorted when Dean quickly moved his hand away. "More weed, more whiskey." He said with a cocky smirk as he took the small bag out of his pocket and threw it into Dean's lap. "Your turn to roll."

Bright blue eyes glared at him, but Dean started to roll a new joint as Seth poured some more whiskey on the glasses. Both drank them in one go, and he refilled them again, this time sitting back and staring at the glass in his hands.

"Dean, how was Richmond?" He asked out of the blue, needing a change of topic before the questions he really wanted to ask left his lips.

Ambrose looked up from his hands and a little smile set on his face. "Booked to lose against DiBiase Jr again, babyface overcomes mean heel and that shit. You know, dark matches are really nothing. A few people knew me though and I was booked to get some offense on Ted, so that was cool." He directed his attention to the weed again. "Who ya against on the tour next week?"

Seth kicked his sneakers off and sat crosslegged on the couch, taking a small sip of Jack Daniels once he found a comfortable posture. "I'm booked to win against Tyson. Still dark matches, but he's appearing often on WWE tv so I guess that's a step forward."

Dean shrugged and took a lighter from his sweatpants pocket. "So finally all the bitching and whining is starting to pay off?"

"Don't think so, and you know Tyson is not exactly a big deal." He frowned. "You actually got the best deal going against Bryan on the tour, even if you were booked to lose." He grinned sheepishly at the raised eyebrow from Dean. "Was told about it at FCW, the teachers were all excited about you having matches against him on the tour."

Dean only looked back at him again after he licked the glued part of the paper and sealed the cylinder. "Seth," he blurted suddenly, his eyes boring a hole on his face. "Is it pity or envy? I can't read you today."

Seth gaped at him in shock, caught completely off guard as his friend lit up the joint and reached for his glass.

"This. You come here, bringing me food and booze and even a fucking gift." He accused. "Did you come to my house because you felt bad that I'm spending the holidays alone or because you're angry that I got to fight Bryan while you, the _golden boy_ , are gonna be put against yet another nobody?"

"Da fuck ya talking about?" Seth blinked, unable to react in any other way.

Dean's eyes narrowed as he studied him intently, his head slightly tilted to the side as if he was trying to read a lie on his friend's face. "Ya wanna know if they allowed me to cut a promo? If they promised me anything? Are you really that fucking insecure? What the fuck are you up to Seth?"

Seth felt his blood boil. "What the fuck?" He stammered as his anger rose. "Are you fucking serious? Do you seriously not get while I'm here or are _you_ that fucking insecure?"

"I'm sure you will enlighten me." Dean spat, taking a long puff at the joint before he downed his glass, jumping back in shock when a long leg shot and kicked him in the ribs.

"I just fuckin' wanted to see you before I left." He snarled. "Was happy to hear you put on some good matches against Bryan, and wanted you to have a fucking nice night if ya were going to spend the fucking holidays alone. Thought you'd be upset, but you're just a fucking asshole."

This time the one seemingly speechless was Dean.

"I don't know what the fuck is wrong with ya, but I fucking care about you dude. I'm not freaking out about shit, I _like_ whatever the fuck we have going on." He took a deep breath, trying to calm down upon noticing the hurt on the blond's face. "Are you _that_ used to people not caring?"

Bingo. Seth immediately knew he'd said both the right and wrong thing at the way Dean looked down, unable to meet his gaze anymore as his chest rose rapidly and looked like it was painful to breathe. He sighed and refilled the glasses, giving his friend a moment to process his words and gently took the joint from between his fingers, replacing it with a glass.

"Deano, hey. Look at me." He said firmly, reaching out to rest a hand on Dean's thigh and squeezing lightly though the fabric of his sweatpants. When he got no response, he removed his hand from Dean's leg and placed it on his cheek, forcing his face upwards to look at him. "That's better. Breathe dude. Ya gonna hear me out now."

He took Dean's blinking as an answer. "You're the only person in FCW that I admire, and I stand by what I told you in the past. No matter the shit we're goin' through now, you and me are gonna change this business and gonna make history together. So anything good that happens to you is a good thing for me, ya hear me?" He felt a little smile take over his lips as Dean seemed to snap out of it. "It's true that I'm an insecure piece of shit, I suck at the mic and know I talk like I'm retarded, I'm small for Vince's standards and have no clue how WWE's gonna book me when I get to the main roster. Fuck, at this point I don't even know _if_ I'm gonna make it there at all. I'm losing my damn patience and you're the only thing keeping me together, so stop giving me shit."

Dean let out a deep breath and slowly reached up to curl his fingers around Seth's hand, removing it from his face and placing it on the sofa.

"What's wrong with you Dean? Wanna talk about it?" He whispered, just wanting to go back to things being normal between them.

Dean shook his head. "Not today." He breathed. "This is enough shit, sorry about that. You were just trying to be nice and I went and fucked it up again."

Seth patted his cheek playfully, trying to lighten the mood. "Nah, I'm feeling nice today. I'll forgive you if you admit I'm not that ugly." He felt relieved at the small if a bit forced chuckle that came out of Dean.

"Okay, you're not ugly. But you still have no tits." He teased.

"Fuck you! That still has never stopped you before." Both laughed heartedly, the tension slowly vanishing and letting something akin to their usual intimacy set into the air.

Dean stuck his tongue out and blew him a raspberry. "Whatever." He rumbled with a fond smile.

Seth flashed him a dorky grin and scooted closer, sliding an arm around his back and pressing against his side while his fingers gently kneaded the skin under them. "Whatever."

They kept talking, smoking and drinking for what felt like minutes but became a few hours, relaxing and enjoying each other's company. The laughter and teasing easier the drunker and higher they got.

While Dean refused to open up, and Seth didn't try to force him to, he shared some bits that made him understand that most of the content of his promos was inspired by reality, and not a nice one.

Both lied on the sofa, Seth on his back with one of his legs on the floor and Dean half on his side, half on top of him. Every now and then a yawn cut through the air or one of them dozed off. This was how Seth enjoyed his company best only second to when they were wrestling, sharing that same physical chemistry they had on the ring on a more intimate place. No strings, no consequences, just whatever _it_ was, the things that never happened and would never happen again.

It felt good and it felt right and he seemed unable to stop reaching for it since many months ago; the things that never happened and the ones that changed whatever the hell was going on between them. And it was okay to him as long as he could keep enjoying it. While he worried sometimes that Dean didn't take it as easily and naturally as he did, all he could do was keep on enjoying it for as long as they could.

He wasn't really sure if he'd taken a small nap or was still awake when Dean broke his train of thought by running a fingertip across his lips before placing a joint they'd rolled earlier between them and smirking lazily as he propped his head on his hand, mere inches away from Seth's face. "See Seth? Always thinkin', but still no tits." He teased, scrunching his nose at the wave of smoke directly blown on his face.

Seth chuckled, shifting slightly so he could flick some ash into the ashtray and rest it there. "Last time I checked, girls had no dicks so that makes me a dude."

Dean let out a breathy laugh and poked him on the ribs, their speech and moves getting slower by the minute. "Ya sure you have one? Think I'm gonna check just to make sure." He said making a little path with his finger from Seth's ribs towards the waistline of his jeans, stopping to yawn longer and louder than before, his hand falling on his friend's navel. "Fuck I'm falling asleep dude I just can't. Ya wanna stay?"

Seth felt his heart beat faster in anticipation but felt too tired to act on it. He also knew he couldn't stay this time since he still had to go home, pack the gifts into a suitcase and get up early to get ready for his flight. He tried to stand a little straighter and sit up, failing to muffle a yawn of his own as he tried to rub the sleep off his eyes.

He chucked when Dean made himself heavier, trying to keep him trapped on the sofa. "I wish, but I gotta go." Another yawn made him stretch as his arm fell on Dean's back. "Still gotta pack the gifts and shit before my flight. Meet ya after New Year to continue?"

Dean groaned but sat up after him, lazily wrapping his arms around Seth's body and biting softly on the back of his neck. "Whatever." He mumbled, also looking like he could fall asleep on the spot.

Seth took a deep breath and turned around slowly into Dean's arms, his hand tilting his chin up as he leaned in closer to press a kiss to his lips, slower and overall softer than they were used to. It still always felt strange, rougher, more chapped than any woman's, but he enjoyed it anyway and never failed to set his skin on fire.

He felt Dean melting into it, saw his eyes flutter closed and the slight part of his lips as he responded to the kiss. It was full of whatever it was that they had, that abstract thing with no name and no need for one either that just drew them into it.

It felt so good, so intimate that he really wished he had the time or the energy to take it further, but that would have to do for the time being. Still he gave in to his need to touch a bit more, to feel a bit more as his fingers slid through Dean's cheek, caressing the stubble on his skin as they moved towards his ear and lazily playing with it as his fingers raked through the hair at the nape of his neck.

If felt good, so much that he couldn't stop himself from licking Dean's upper lip, meeting his tongue at the end and twining them together on a lazy dance. He deepened the kiss, needing to touch and feel more, his other hand reaching up to cradle his friend's face as the arms around him tightened and their bodies pressed further against each other.

And he would curse himself later when he had to jerk off at home alone before going to bed, but hell knew he would never make it to the airport and see his family if he didn't stop at that exact moment. There was still room to get away before he couldn't manage to.

Seth pulled away from the kiss when he felt Dean's hands sliding down his hips, his fingers digging into the flesh of his buttocks as he pressed their hips closer. He leaned back for another kiss and gave his friend an apologetic smile. "Sorry dude-" he began unable to stop a yawn but feeling the familiar heat between his legs. That would at least keep him awake long enough to make his way back home.

Dean sighed and yawned as well, resting his forehead against Seth's cheek for a moment before slowly unwrapping his arms from around him. "Whatever, Seth. Merry Christmas." He slurred as he went in for the last kiss. "For the record, it's ya who's goin' soft on me."

Seth couldn't help small chuckle rumbling through his chest. "Whatever, Dean. Xmas."

.:

Notes:

Done! This little piece is just a Xmas story where I tried to give you a small glimpse of how Seth feels, without spoiling the main story since OSWIW is still going around May 2011 (I had to cut and rewrite several parts of it to avoid it).

I kept him a bit vague and toned down my initial idea to make this rated Explicit since I don't want to give you anything I haven't yet in 'Our Story (Whatever It Was)'. Writing Seth's POV was fun and refreshing, if slightly more difficult than I expected, but I really want to keep on exploring him and will probably post more side pieces from his POV in the future, besides giving more glimpses on the main story.

If you're lucky enough to have some holidays, I hope you do! If like me, you'll be stuck working, patience and good luck, I feel your pain lol.

As usual, please leave your comments and feedback on the story! What you liked, what you hated, whatever you think I'm always happy to listen and chat with you about it. You can also come over to my Tumblr and drop me a message (my username is Besaster) and follow up on the updates, preview bits and pieces of their real history that I randomly post there every now and then.

I'll be back with Chapter 6 of OSWIW very soon. Until then, see you and thanks for reading! Xx


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